


Hypnagogic Hallucinations

by ruffruffren



Category: Lamento -BEYOND THE VOID-
Genre: Blow Jobs, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-22
Updated: 2016-04-22
Packaged: 2018-06-03 18:36:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6621736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruffruffren/pseuds/ruffruffren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leaks isn't sure if what is happening is real or not.</p><p>He isn't so sure of a lot of things recently, not ever since that damned klutz stumbled into his world and began tidying things up. Or... had he created more of a mess? Everywhere Shui went seemed to leave Leaks frantically picking up the pieces of his own fragmenting world.</p><p>And now not even his private thoughts are safe from the vision of that one cat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hypnagogic Hallucinations

**Author's Note:**

> This is a birthday gift for Lu who specifically requested some feelsy smut of Leaks and Shui. Happy Birthday!

_I'm losing my mind._

That was Leaks' first thought as his mind descended from the imaginary world of his dreams and slipped into reality. Only he was now questioning that fact for the dream he had been having – questionable enough in its own right - presented itself beyond the realm of fantasy, if the almost suffocating sensation he felt throughout his body was anything to judge by.

'...Hhn...' He grunted, an uncontrollable response to the unskilled ministrations occurring at his waist. It was indeed very unsatisfactory, the pair of lips working along his cock sloppy but never the less trying hard as they enveloped his tip and suckled a little too hard. It was borderline painful and Leaks had the notion to find wherever his hand was and put a stop to this nonsense at once.

Alas, something besides being too sleep stricken to move stopped him. It was as though only the two polar points of his body were awake and one considerably more than the other at that. At least part of him was energetic, if a little too enthusiastic, this time of the morning.

From below he heard a gasp, a rough snatching of air that fell heated onto his sensitive skin and made him shiver in delight. It rippled throughout his body, making the tips of his fingers and toes tingle pleasurably. This was certainly different to his usual morning routine.

That's right. He didn't have time to spend all day dreaming, lounging in bed and indulging these whimsical fantasies of his. He had been having those a lot more recently, moments where his mind began to wonder, stealing away as the ancient words of whatever book he was studying began to blur into insignificance. How was it at all possible than one stupid cat could divert the magician's attention so easily? He had to wonder which out of them was the greater spell caster. It irritated him how little it took for his thoughts to end up on that unassuming face, bursting with a ready smile that shone brightly all the way to his gentle eyes, making them sparkle like sunlight reflecting on water. Just like that his mind was elsewhere, gallivanting to impossible possibilities and frivolous fancies.

_I have to put a stop to this._

Leaks' resolve was such and he had every intention of following it through this time if not for curiousness of a rough tongue lapping at his tip eroding his will away. There was no other way to describe the motion; it was the same as if he stopped to drink water from the river or the water barrel buried somewhere in his quarters, he forgot where, mesmerised by the rhythmic flick of that warm tongue across his slit. If he was still dreaming then it shouldn't hurt to let it carry on a little longer. After all, it did feel good. Leaks wasn't prone to giving in to his sexual desires. He pushed them away, having no time to spare for the weakness of the flesh. Yet again, ever since that clumsy cat barged his way into his life, turning everything he knew as fast about himself upside down, even that was pulled from him. Nothing was sacred anymore. Like a ball of tightly wound string he found himself unravelling in those damned careless hands. He was certain they would lead to his downfall.

'Hah...' Another heavy sigh, he knotted his brows together as he felt his cock surrounded by a hot wetness and realised his cock was being swallowed down. Slowly, each inch vanished further into the sweetness, cushioned underneath by a plump tongue that stroked the underside of his cock with subtle flicks. It took all his hazy strength not to thrust his hips forward, to lose himself completely into the hesitant mouth that struggled to accommodate him.

There was something endearing about this haphazard attempt at pleasuring him. In a dream he assumed all to be perfect, constructed by his imagination carefully to avoid the pitfalls of reality, and instead he found himself practical even in fantasy, unable to break free of his pragmatic personality long enough to find relief in another realm. He wanted to laugh at his own stiffness, at how he imagined – probably all too accurately – how that blundering cat would try with in earnest to pleasure him this way. Things would never become like this between them, however. It was inconceivable, impracticable, impossible, and every other word he could think of. Shui wasn't like that. Leaks himself wasn't like that, _hadn't been like that_.

He heard choking, and all too soon the pliable softness was gone from him while the other coughed, regaining his composure after taking things too far. It made sense to choke on something, a normal bodily panic response to swallowing something too big. Leaks felt his arousal lurch, a sudden surging like a building storm inside him. He realised he'd been gripping the arms of the chair – it had become his makeshift bed, along with the blanket Shui draped over him to keep him warm – all too tightly, releasing his hold with a sigh. _What the hell is wrong with me? Am I dreaming, am I awake? If I'm awake, why haven't I even opened my eyes? When did I become so attached to delusions?_

That was a point. His eyes were still closed, the seal of sleep unbroken, but when he tried to blink them apart he found himself unable to do it. Something deep inside ceased him, and without being able to explain why he gave up trying to wake up, too, finally permitting himself a few moments of respite from his lonely existence of endless study. He wanted to stay like this a little longer, with a shy and hesitant hand gripping the base of his wet cock, with the gentle swirling of a tongue spiralling around him, unravelling him like string with every stroke. He wanted to say suspended in pleasure, rising steadily from between his legs as velvet lips caressed his dripping tip, drinking from his slit the tiny milky white droplets with a kiss, before enveloping him completely. Even the scrape of fangs that made him hiss and jolt in jarring pain was something he didn't want to let go of. His own fangs clenched tightly as the remnants of discomfort echoed over him, but he soon relaxed as the mouth upon his member somehow seemed to apologetically suck on him. The sounds, the lewd slurping followed by stolen gasps of breath, of tender moans pushed down, muffled and leaking out around his member, all teased Leaks' tenuous hold over himself.

He couldn't stop himself from imagining what he couldn't see. He pictured it unseeingly; every fine detail of his dwelling from the books spilling with his scrawled notes once messily strewn about and now neatly stacked up to the cushion backed chair he slept in, his thighs parted enough for the slender frame of his friend to kneel between, shoulders hunched and head bobbing beneath flowing strands of autumn. A silvery bridge of saliva dripped from swollen lips, glistening in the dawning light of the morning, connecting them even whilst he paused to catch his breath before sinking back down.

_It's... dangerous to think like this..._

He told himself that but he wasn't listening. The impulse to tread upon forbidden territory was too wilful, trampling over his reason as carefree as a child in a field of flowers. All around him his denial blew away like petals on the wind, leaving behind nothing but the bare faced truth, and leaving him with no choice but to face it.

He wanted it to be Shui.

'...Ah...' Leaks let out a sound that surprised even himself. He wondered if the heat in his cheeks was his first blush or merely just a physiological response to his arousal. He rolled his head to the side, losing control of himself as the pleasure rolled steadily over him.

He wanted it to be Shui doing this to him. He tried hard to ignore it, to pretend his attraction was nothing more than his loneliness reaching out. Even admitting that on some level he was lonely was bad enough for him, let alone accepting he was romantically inclined towards another. The two emotions didn't fit into his world; they didn't advance his knowledge of magic, thus their significance was diminished. But no matter how he looked at it there was no other plausible explanation.

_Pathetic.Of all the people, why him? Why did it have to be him? He's incapable of doing anything, it's a miracle he's lived this long..._

'Ahh...!' Leaks gripped the arms of the chair again, digging his claws in to anchor himself down, to stop him from reaching out and forcing his unknown partner to swallow him entirely. He could feel his climax building in the pit of his belly, the foreign sensation somehow ticklish, his body jerking in powerful spasms. He was being consumed by the rhythmic up and down tempo on his cock, eroded by the rough tongue that hesitantly licked him, obliterated by the pure innocence of the one administering the attention on him. He wanted to come in that mouth, to stain it with his taste. At the same time he wanted to cherish the purity of it, to lift those lips from his filthy flesh and wash away the dirt of his own tainted love. Leaks was conflicted by these twin desires, a struggle borne within him that he barely had the solidarity of mind left to fight.

_This is bad...._

If he pulled away now he'd spill his load over that inculpable face. To leave things as they were would be to release into his mouth....

'I'm... I can't hold it...' Leaks gasped, inwardly wincing at the sound of his own voice. He could hear the strain of his onrushing climax weighing his voice down, as if it clung like lead weights to every syllable. He was panting, as desperate as any other cat in heat to find his release, with droplets of sweat beading across his forehead. He could feel the sandy tendrils already clinging to him, sticky and clodding.

His words didn't seem to have an impact. Not how he thought they would at least.

Rather than pulling away and leaving him to deal with the final strokes himself, he felt the speed and depth at which his cock was pulled in increase, until only the base remained untouched, drenched in thick globules of saliva.

_Why must you make everything so difficult...?_

'Pull... back...!' Leaks insisted, he tried to move his hips away but it was in vain. His own fierce determination to pull away was met with equal determination to remain, to see this through to the end. He'd long since given up questioning what kind of dream this was, but now he was left wondering again, on the cusp of coming, exactly what it was he was experiencing.

It didn't come in the form of tangible words. Rather it seeped into him, sinking through his pores and entering his blood, his very being. The feeling that this was their only chance, the feeling that no matter what, they would have this one moment together, stolen from between the realm of unconsciousness and waking reality, where the sleepy kiss of sleep lingered lapping at his mind like waves upon the shore. It was the only space they could ever have, that when he opened his eyes he would never be entirely sure if it really happened or not.

It was with bitter-sweet claws clutching at his heart that Leaks lost his self-control, a low moan growling out from deep within his throat as he came. He dug his nails in hard enough to tear the upholstery, shredding it without a care as his body soared, the accumulation of sexual tension bursting inside him.

'...Hn....!' He tightened his jaw, capturing the sounds he was emitting and swallowing them back down, releasing only the short sharp panting breaths he needed to quell the dizzy swirling in his head, offset by the myriad colours exploding like fireworks on the back of his lids. He felt the fur on his tail bristle as it too stiffened, the sweetness of his pleasure reaching to the very tip.

He almost forgot about the mouth patiently holding him, swallowing the load as it shot out of him, a low murmur of surprise escaping as the first salty drops came over his tongue.

Spent, Leaks collapsed back down, unaware he'd arched his back in the moment of his orgasm. He withdrew his claws from the chair, licking at his dried lips and slowly regaining his composure. He never knew how good it could feel to be pleasured this way – or indeed any other way. Unmoving he stayed like that awhile, stirring only as he heard the door to his home quietly close.

'….Hm?'

Leaks was alone.

He rubbed at his eyes, chased away the last of his sleepiness, and looked at the familiar setting of his dwelling. Everything was just as he had left it before falling asleep, nothing moved nor disturbed. It was as though no one else had been here, and perhaps that was so.

He couldn't be quite sure if his dream was just a dream. He was quite alone now, wrapped in the patched up blanket that his dear friend always seemed to tuck him into, the candle he had used the night before thoughtfully snuffed out.

Leaks heaved a sigh, shaken by the feeling that settled heavy in his chest. Such a dream... was unlike him. He threw the blanket off and stood, filled a pot with water and set it to boil on the hearth. While he waited he paced, unsure if the unsteadiness in his legs was real or imagined.

There had to be a logical explanation.

He had to find it. Somewhere, a passage he'd missed in one of his books or perhaps merely overworking himself. Whatever it was he needed to find the reason for the excessive pounding of his heart, for the layer of sweat coating his palms, the painful tightness in his chest as he recalled the passion of that... dream.

Ignoring the howl of the boiled water Leaks turned to his books, buried himself amongst them in a flurry of emotional confusion that continued to plague him for days. He already knew the answer to his conundrum, and a few days later he found the answer to his other question.

The vision, the dream he had had. To think it could ever have really happened was laughable.

It was during another mostly one-sided conversation with Shui that Leaks realised it. As his clumsy friend babbled on as he often did, chattering ceaselessly about the mundane, that Leaks understood perfectly his predicament.

'To be a Sanga in such a prolific position... I have to do my best, for my wife is expecting our first child. I want to provide for them both as best I can, and if I was Chief Sanga...'

In that moment Leaks knew of a new kind of emotion. Something he thought himself free of, something he would never experience.

He knew what it was to feel a heart break.

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
